Education and Tools for Parents Learning about Neurodivergence For Their Kids

Parent’s Guide to Recognizing Neurodivergence in Your Child*

*What It Actually Looks Like in Daily Life, Instead of Calling It “Symptoms.”

By LK, LPC

Understanding Neurodivergence in Your Child

This guide provides real-life examples of how neurodivergent traits (ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing differences, etc.) might show up in your child’s daily life. Many traits overlap, and every child’s experience is unique.

Maybe your child has received or will receive a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Depression (or any other variant of those categories). These are real patterns of behavior that do exist, but they are not the root cause. Many patterns of behavior like anxiety and depression are like a rash in the medical world. The rash is real, and it’s itchy and uncomfortable, and there are creams that can help make it less itchy. But if the rash is from clothing they are wearing or food they are eating or something in the air, you would want to know what the root cause was and not just keep putting cream on when it keeps showing up. Anxiety and depression are real, and uncomfortable, and there are things we can do to help them not feel so severe – but they are not the root of it. The “rash” of anxiety may be caused by trying to cope with being neurodivergent and not realizing it, and the “rash” of depression may actually be burn out from the near- constant hyper-vigilance (masking) it takes to operate as a neurodivergent person not realize the impacts. Read here for more context.

The key question isn’t “Does my child ever do this?” but rather:

📌 How frequently does it happen?

📌 How intensely does it affect them?

📌 How long does it last?

📌 What patterns do I see over time?

Many kids assume everyone experiences the world as they do and may not verbalize their struggles. Your child may not realize how hard they are working to cope.

This guide is meant to help you reflect on possible areas where they may need support or validation.

I. Sensory Processing & Body Awareness

Hypersensitivity (Over-Responsive to Sensory Input)

🛑 Sound Sensitivity → Overwhelmed in noisy places like restaurants, malls, or classrooms. May cover their ears, wear noise-canceling headphones, or leave early.

🛑 Clothing Sensitivity → Cuts tags out of shirts, refuses to wear certain fabrics, struggles with socks or seams. May have one or two “safe” outfits they wear repeatedly.

🛑 Food Sensitivity → Avoids certain textures (e.g., slimy, crunchy, mixed textures). May only eat a small number of “safe” foods.

🛑 Touch Sensitivity → Flinches at unexpected touch, hates light touch but seeks deep pressure (hugs, squeezing objects, tight clothing). May dislike certain textures like slime, cotton balls, or wet dishes. May struggle with brushing their hair or teeth.

🛑 Smell Sensitivity → Gets headaches or nausea from perfumes, scented laundry detergents, candles, or food smells.

Hyposensitivity (Under-Responsive to Sensory Input)

🟢 High Pain Tolerance → May not notice cuts, bruises, or injuries until they see blood.

🟢 Craving Sensory Input → Seeks tight clothing, weighted blankets, loves chewing on things, pressing against surfaces, or deep pressure (hugs, squeezing hands, pinching skin, lip biting).

🟢 Movement-Seeking → Spins in circles, rocks, bounces leg/foot, jumps off furniture, loves rough play. Craves high-impact activities like climbing, running, or swinging.

II. Communication & Social Interaction

Language & Expression

💬 Info-Dumping → Talks nonstop about a favorite topic without noticing if the other person is engaged.

💬 Struggles with Small Talk → Finds casual greetings or chit-chat pointless. Prefers deeper, more meaningful conversations.

💬 Precise or Formal Speech → Uses big words or highly detailed explanations, even in casual settings.

💬 Difficulty with Verbal Processing → Needs extra time to think before answering. May struggle with verbal instructions.

Social & Emotional Processing

🤯 Social Energy Drain → Loves spending time with friends but feels exhausted afterward and needs alone time to recharge.

🤯 Masking & Social Scripts → May rehearse conversations before speaking or copy others’ behaviors to blend in.

🤯 Confusion Over Hidden Meanings → Takes sarcasm literally, misses passive-aggressive cues, or needs more time to process conversations.

🤯 Over-Attuned to Others’ Emotions → Soaks up people’s moods like a sponge but doesn’t always know how to respond.

🤯 Relationship Intensity → May go all-in on friendships but withdraw completely when overwhelmed.

Eye Contact & Nonverbal Cues

👀 Avoids Eye Contact → Looks at a person’s nose or mouth instead of their eyes. May use memorized tricks to appear engaged.

👀 Struggles with Facial Expressions → People misinterpret their neutral face as anger. May also misread others’ emotions.

👀 Processing Delay with Body Language → Needs extra time to understand social cues, leading to awkward interactions.

III. Executive Functioning & Daily Life Patterns

Time Management & Organization

⏳ “Time Blindness” → Easily loses track of time, either hyper-focusing for hours or struggling to start non-preferred tasks.

⏳ Chronic Procrastination → Can’t start tasks unless they are fun, urgent, or create adrenaline (panic mode).

⏳ Forgets Priorities → Cleans the entire room but forgets the one thing they actually needed to do.

Memory & Processing Speed

🔍 Forgetfulness → Constantly loses keys, phone, or homework.

🔍 Needs Written Instructions → Struggles to follow multi-step directions unless written down.

🔍 Hyper-Focus on Details → Remembers obscure facts but forgets important instructions.

IV. Emotional Regulation & Burnout

Emotional Intensity

🎭 Feels Every Emotion at Level 100 → Not just annoyed—FURIOUS. Not just happy—ECSTATIC. Not just sad—HEARTBROKEN.

🎭 Big Reactions to Small Things → Can cry or shut down over minor frustrations but suppress bigger emotions because they seem “too much.”

🎭 Emotions Feel Physical → Anxiety feels like nausea, sadness feels like exhaustion.

Burnout & Recovery

😴 Energy Cycles → One week super productive, the next week completely exhausted.

😴 Needs Extended Alone Time → May avoid people for days to recover from social interactions.

😴 Masks Emotions Until They Shut Down → Functions well in public but crashes once home.

V. Repetitive Behaviors & Special Interests

Self-Soothing (Stimming)

💫 Fidgeting → Taps fingers, bites lips, pops knuckles, rubs neck, chews pens/jewelry.

💫 Repetitive Sounds → Hums, clicks tongue, sings, repeats words under their breath.

💫 Rewatches the Same Show Repeatedly → Prefers familiar media over trying something new.

Fixations & Routines

📚 Hyperfixation on Interests → Obsessed with one hobby for weeks, then drops it suddenly.

📚 Needs Routines for Stability → Anxious if daily routine is disrupted, even for small things.

Final Thoughts for Parents

If many of these traits describe your child, they may be neurodivergent in some way.

🔹 This isn’t about labeling—it’s about understanding.

🔹 It’s not about fixing them—it’s about supporting them.

🔹 The more you notice patterns, the better you can advocate for their needs.

Next Steps:

📌 Keep a log of patterns you notice over time.

📌 Talk with teachers, therapists, or specialists for further assessment if needed.

📌 Approach your child with curiosity, not judgment—they may not realize their struggles aren’t “just how everyone is.”

Your child isn’t broken—they just experience the world differently. With the right support, they can thrive as their full, authentic selves. 💙🌈