Counselor Resources

A Fish That Can’t Fly Isn’t Broken

• If you judged a fish by its ability to fly, you’d say it was a complete failure.
  

• If you judged a bird by its ability to swim, you’d say it was hopelessly flawed.
  

• Neither of these are true. The problem isn’t with the bird or the fish—it’s with the expectation.
  

Neurodivergent Brains Are Not Broken Neurotypical Brains

The same logic applies to brains:

• A neurodivergent brain isn’t a neurotypical brain that “doesn’t work right.”
  

• It’s just a different kind of brain, designed for different strengths.
  

• Expecting an ND brain to function like an NT brain is like expecting a fish to fly.
  

• And when the fish can’t fly? It feels like failure, even though it was never meant to.
  

• When a bird struggles in water? It assumes something is wrong with it, even though it was never designed for that.
  

• The real goal isn’t making every brain “fly” or “swim.”
  

• It’s about letting brains thrive in environments that actually work for them.
  

Thriving in Your Own Way

This does not mean that growth isn’t possible.

• It means growth should be purposeful and supportive—not forced or shaming.
  

• Embracing who you are doesn’t mean staying stuck where you are.
  

Expanding Your Comfort Zone (Without Jumping Off a Cliff)

People love to say “growth happens outside your comfort zone.”

• True, but jumping too far too fast leads to shutdown, not growth.
  

• A fish trying to walk on earth is not “expanding its comfort zone”—it’s panicking and dying.
  

A better approach:

• Gently push the edges of your comfort zone.
  

• Get comfortable with a little discomfort.
  

• Build skills gradually, in ways that support your nervous system.
  

This way, your comfort zone expands naturally, rather than forcing yourself into something unsustainable.

Self-Knowledge Leads to Self-Growth

Learning about yourself isn’t an excuse to never try new things.

• It’s a way to expand your world safely, with self-awareness.
  

• Knowing your brain = knowing how to challenge yourself effectively.
  

Growth isn’t about becoming something you’re not—it’s about becoming the fullest version of who you already are.

Key Takeaways

• A fish isn’t a “failed” bird, and a bird isn’t a “flawed” fish.
  

• Neurodivergent brains aren’t broken versions of neurotypical brains.
  

• You don’t have to stay stuck, but you also don’t have to force yourself into something that isn’t you.
  

• Growth should feel like stretching—not like drowning.
  

• The goal is to thrive in ways that make sense for your brain.