Education and Tangible Resources:
Dive Into Insights and Tips

The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is what we’ll call the Captain Brain—the part responsible for logic, planning, impulse control, and empathy.

• It doesn’t fully develop until around age 25 (source), which means younger brains:

  • Shift into survival mode faster

  • Stay dysregulated longer

  • Have a harder time returning to call

Why This Matters for Self-Compassion (and Supporting Others)

• When the prefrontal cortex is offline, it can feel like:

  • this is the worst thing I’ve ever felt

  • It’s going to last forever

  • I don’t care who I hurt to get out of this feeling

• The nervous system treats stress like a survival threat, even when it’s something like a difficult conversation or an unexpected change.

• The challenge? The part of the brain that can provide logical perspective is temporarily unavailable.

  • If you’re working with kids or teens, validating their experience is crucial—because for them, it really does feel that big.

How Regulation Works: Getting Captain Brain Back Online

• The goal is to help the brain shift out of survival mode.

• That starts with activating the nervous system in a helpful way.

  • Step 1: Recognize When You’re Triggered

• At first, it may not even feel like being triggered—it just feels normal because it happens so often.

• Some common signs include:

  • Fight: Feeling angry, frustrated, needing control

  • Flight: Feeling anxious, restless, needing to escape

  • Freeze: Feeling stuck, zoning out, shutting down

  • Fawn: Trying to smooth things over, saying “it’s fine” even when it’s not

Activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System (Rest & Regulation Mode)

• The nervous system has two main settings:

  • Survival mode (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)

  • Regulation mode (rest/digest/restore)

• When the brain is dysregulated, we have to signal safety first before Captain Brain can come back online.

• Ways to Do That:

  • Belly Breathing

  • Breathe deeply into your belly (imagine inflating a balloon behind your belly button).

  • Exhale slowly through pursed lips, like blowing bubbles.

    • This stimulates the vagus nerve, which tells the body it’s safe (source).

  • Grounding Movements

  • Stretching, shaking out tension, or walking can help reset the nervous system.

  • Cold Stimulation

  • Splashing cold water on your face, holding an ice pack, or drinking something cold can help the body shift out of panic mode.

  • Humming or Singing

    • The vibrations stimulate the vagus nerve and naturally calm the system.

  • Tactile Sensory Input

    • Engaging with textures (running fingers along fabric, squeezing a soft object) can help re-anchor to the present moment.

Key Takeaways

• The prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until around 25, which impacts emotional regulation.

• When dysregulated, the brain treats even small stressors like major threats because the logical part of the brain is temporarily offline.

• Regulation starts with the body.

  • You can’t think your way back to calm—you have to physically signal safety first.

  • Breathing, movement, and sensory tools can help bring Captain Brain back online.